


A Commentary of the Human Species

by artistickeldeo



Series: Fate/FE-1218 [2]
Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, OMORI (Video Game), Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Headcanon, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, Lots of Cursing, M/M, Married Couple, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Selfcest(?), Slice of Life, TRANS RIGHTS BAYBEEEE, Therapy, Trans Male Character, Trans Mordred | Saber of Red, Tsunderes, Useless Lesbians, garbage fire, holy fuck that's a lot of tags, jalter is named velours in this fic, jeanne has partial heterochromia in her right eye, ok im gonna ramble now, this is me coping with my trauma by writing cute things in my make believe world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 21:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30095556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artistickeldeo/pseuds/artistickeldeo
Summary: Humans are really interesting, don't you think? I find it so... fascinating that they're so different-- yet the only thing that holds them together as a species is that they can all breed with each other to make more of their disgusting selves. They're all so different, they're all so uniquely disgusting, they're all so uniquely kind yet uniquely contorted and greedy. Their organs and functions are the same, yet does the first and last name of an individual sound more like a classification of genus and species more than just a "name?"-aka: "what-if" scenarios featuring my favorite dumbasses from many universes!!!!! wrowThis is just a garbled mess of thought and disorganized speech. I'm open to suggestions, but of course I'll be applying headcanons to them if I decide to take them!! In addition, all of this? Puuuuurely just self indulgence...In addition!!! Some of the AUs will be continued in future chapters! If you want some, ask for some! I'll be able to work my magic whenever. :D
Relationships: Astolfo | Rider of Black/Sieg | Caster, Basil/Sunny (OMORI), Emiya Shirou/Tohsaka Rin, Fujimaru Ritsuka/Mash Kyrielight | Shielder, Jeanne d'Arc | Ruler/Jeanne d'Arc Alter | Avenger, Mordred | Saber of Red/Original Character(s)
Series: Fate/FE-1218 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954264
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	A Commentary of the Human Species

**Author's Note:**

> ~ This collection will be put under my series due to the application of headcanons and it features occasional OCs of mine ~
> 
> Currently planned/TBD stories:  
> \- Hostess Club run by Jeanne Alter, with Jeanne, Saber Alter, Marie, Brynhildr, Mash, and Female Ritsuka  
> \- Corpse Party Crossover feat. PEOPLE DYING!!! yayyyy... (Guess who's Seiko and Naomi ;) [Also, I've been watching Thaf playing it on the vods, go check out his content!!!])  
> \- Power Swap AU where Jeanne and her Alter swap for a day. Shenanigans ensue...  
> \- Minecraft! Kel Fucking Dies by the most stupidest ways possible, Mari builds a house with Hero, Basil makes a garden in Minecraft while Aubrey and Sunny act as his bodyguards.  
> \- Flower Shop AU, where Basil is at home in his element.  
> \- Master!Jeanne with Jeanne Alter as her Servant. Takes place in the Fifth Holy Grail War (Saber timeline)

A/N: I fucking love the song "La Vanille". Specifically [this cover of the song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=985P_isw3RU)  
A long time friend of mine showed me this song about five years ago; we meant to do an animation collab for it but it never came to be... sad.  
This song means so much to me in my heart, so if you can, take a listen, let the emotions flow through you as you think of times long past or times you dream to come to be.  
Sometimes the best hope we have is the times we have had or look forward to.  
Keep your chin held up high.

* * *

Jeanne always had pleasant mornings working at Le café à la Vanille. She saw many people going about their day, some even speaking her native tongue as they pass by on the morning routines. A small cup of joy was always held within her chest with every time the morning sun greeted her face in the morning with her bed-head blonde hair. It was the best gift she could ask from God; for her to wake every morning to such a lovely job. The bustle of the morning coffee shop and the smell of blended roast and baked goods was just a heavenly start to her mornings after her run and shower. She loved watching the faces go by on the outside street and the light of the customers when they walk in and see their favorite barista. Her sun-dappled face always lights up grandly when she served any customer.

She had a wonderful manager who always ran a little bit too early or a little too late. She was a very jubilant young girl with an unmistakable mischievous smile and bright orange hair you could spot down the street. She had the bustle of the New York City streets but the budge of a continent. When faced with stressful situations like a very "troubled" customer complaining how her coworker, Basil, would get a small thing wrong, she swooped in to handle the situations quickly. She was no pushover, and Jeanne was very thankful for the manager named Ritsuka.

Basil is a very meek and frail blonde boy who loved to talk about his garden with Jeanne on their breaks. He was a young boy who had taken up a job at the small café to help pay for the hospital bills of his childhood friend, Sunny. Jeanne never pushed the subject of his friend, but every time she wandered into the subject, the younger male almost shut down completely. She quickly changes the subject after this, and tries to get him to talk about flower languages instead, which he happily obliges to info dump about.  
  
The dedicated baker of the shift was a woman named after the archduchess and the old queen of France, Marie. She had long pigtails styled in unorthodox ways, typically adorning them differently with each week with a theme. She was particularly chatty with customers and coworkers alike, and it was hard not to be relaxed around her. While she worked on the sweets for the day, she hummed soft songs as she did so, making the nerves of the early morning shift melt away into relaxation with a sweet soprano voice. She made some of the best sponge cakes and éclairs Jeanne had ever tasted in her life, and she and her coworkers would always ask Marie for extras when they leave their shift for the day.

* * *

It was a day like any other for Jeanne. The morning rush hour had just passed over, and the young woman was busy cleaning the counters and tables, her dress shirt sleeves rolled up to her elbows. The jingle of the shop's door sounds throughout the interior of the coffee shop. "Hello! Welcome to Le café à la Vanille! I'll be right with you after I clean this table."  
  
"Yeah alright. Take your time, no rush." The customer nonchalantly answers back in a slight French accent. No fuss, no special interest... but a new voice for Jeanne.  
  
Jeanne brushes a stray golden lock to look at the woman who enters and just... _wow_. Not wow as in a bad wow, but just... a _wow_. The woman who greets her was absolutely beautiful. Jeanne could write pages of poetry with just her looks alone... The pale strands of hair that shone in the slanted morning sun, her pale skin, the studded black leather jacket she had on over a loose spaghetti strap tank top of the same color, the black torn jeans revealing some fishnet tights under, and some platform lace-up boots studded along the borders of the leather. Her heart was doing backflips in her chest while her voice caught in her throat looking at the woman. She almost felt inferior dressed in her white dress shirt, her knee-length black skirt and thigh highs, her brown loafers, and a light cream-colored apron housing her numerous multicolored gel pens and her order book. Her blue eyes hinted with lavender caught the other's strikingly pale yellow ones, and she froze for the moment.   
  
"Something wrong? What's got you looking at me so funny?" The woman dismisses the look, shifting her weight onto her right. She slips her phone into her jacket's pocket, making Jeanne notice her short nails were painted the same black, before she walks to the counter.  
  
"W-Well, uhm... I-It's just that you're... not someone I'm familiar with, I apologize for staring." Jeanne regains her voice, scrambling for a reasonable explanation. _Not because I'm GAY or anything, haha..._ She sighs internally.  
  
"Eh, just don't mind me," The woman huffs, leaning on the counter. "Just do your job."  
  
Jeanne finishes up wiping the remaining sponge cake crumbs from the mahogany-colored high table and makes her way over to the kiosk. "I apologize again for the wait! Do you have anything in mind, or do you want a second to mull over our menu?"  
  
"You're quite alright, I don't normally enter coffee shops like this. I think the wait's too much for me. Altria fusses 'cus of it," The woman replies. "I'll take a..." She trails off before peeking at her phone again. Jeanne saw a flash of a contact named "Altria" with a little black heart next to it. "I'll take a small black roast of Cuban Crystal with two espresso shots and an iced medium Caramel Macchiato with extra whip cream."  
  
"Can I get a name for this order?" Jeanne pokes a couple options on the kiosk, looking at the other woman.  
  
"Velours. Do you need me to spell it for you? You'd be surprised." Velours grumbles, sliding out her card from the little phone case wallet she has.  
  
"No, I actually know how to. I'm not surprised honestly, because people see my name and try to pronounce it 'Jee-anne,' or 'Jon.' It's really annoying sometimes!" The barista laughs, a bright smile lighting up on her face. "Your total is $6.90."  
  
"You're French too?" Velours asks, sliding her card in the card reader, making sure that it registers correctly before auto-piloting the PIN code in. "And that's pretty damn cheap for some bean water with flavor," She chuckles.  
  
"We actually get a lot of regulars and such because of our cakes and low prices for coffee. Marie is a wonderful baker! You should get one slice of her cakes, you have my promise that I'm not just saying that to get you to buy it. She makes extras for us to take home!" Jeanne grabs two cups for the order, whisking a little further from the counter to work on the drinks. "Basil! Come help me out here!"

"Hold on, I'm coming!" The flower boy rushes from the back room, tying on his cream apron hastily. He grabs one of the measuring cups and Jeanne briefs the order. He nods and gets to work helping with the measurements and prepping the syrup. Jeanne starts to brew the espresso part of the drink. Together, they work like a well-oiled machine, it was almost a dance with how they put together the work. In a short couple minutes, the two orders were ready, and Jeanne wrote Velours on the cup and decorates it with her signature flowers and script writing. Basil gives a bright smile and gives an extra helping of whip cream to the Caramel Macchiato. With a sneaky pen, she writes her number on the back of the receipt and hands the order to Velours, who was waiting patiently by the counter. "That was fast," Velours remarks, giving a little bounce off the countertop with a smile. "Maybe you've just gotten yourself a new regular."  
  
"Oh that's wonderful news! I really hope to see you here again, you were pleasant to chat to! A change of pace I needed in all honesty," Jeanne shyly giggles, scratching her cheek.  
  
"I wouldn't mind that really. You're, uh. really cute..." Velours mumbles, sliding the orders into her hands. Jeanne's face turns a little pink at the remark, and she can't help but feel like she made a good call in giving her phone number to her. "Welp! See ya tomorrow! Keep up that good work! Who knows, I might piss off Altria a little more and chat for awhile!" She chuckles, leaning on the door to the exit with a cheer of her iced coffee.  
  
"So... you got a crush already? About time."  
  
"GYAH--!?" Jeanne turns around with a start, only to be greeted by her manager, Ritsuka. The ginger gives a loud cackle of joy, wrapping her arm around Jeanne's shoulder with a big goofy grin on her face. "D'aaaw, I'm just teasin' ya Jeanne! Don't sweat it too hard!"  
  
The only thing on Jeanne's mind is: _What kind of mess have I gotten myself into..?_


End file.
